Untitled, just some monologue

It is true when some people say we never really realise how much we love our beloved ones and how much they matter to us until the moments when we realise we might lose them. On the last night Jeremy was with me at my parents, he expressed his thoughts to me that he didnt think I love him enough. Just when he finished uttering that, I could feel my heart torn into pieces like there was a spear that just went through it. I was so scared.No, I was terrified! My body stopped functioning for that mere second and I could think of nothing other than what would my life be without him in it anymore.I tried hard not to cry. All the moments that we had spent together all this time came flashing back and it kills me to realise that if I ever lose him, Im not only going to lose my boyfriend, but worst of all my best friend. I never have really shared as much as I do with him with anybody else. I never feel this free to fully express myself without feeling stupid and scared of being judged. I am me as long as I am with him and I hope he will be himself as long as he is with me.

Discovering Indonesia- Part 1 jakarta

Indonesia is a country riches with many exotic places which  can easily make your  vacation an unforgettable and meaningful one. A trip to Indonesia would not be complete without a visit to its capital city, Jakarta which is the largest city in the country. With its population of 8, 490 000, Jakarta is indeed a very busy and crowded city. I had had the opportunity to visit Jakarta in June 2010 with my boyfriend, Jeremy. We arrived at Soekarno Hatta International Airport, Jakarta at about 5.30pm and got passed the immigration an hour later. It was not difficult to find a cab service from the airport to get to the intended destination. However, taking bus is not a practical option since it is too crowded and takes too long to reach its destination. For the whole time while we were in Jakarta, we stayed at Jeremy's cousin's house. It was in a suburban area called Cilandak which was about half an hour from the city during the time when there is not much traffic. A very beautiful house with a swimming pool which was rented at about 400usd per month. Traffics in Jakarta are congested most of the time and makes it difficult to drive. Salute to all drivers in Jakarta, they must be really skillful to be able to drive in such a busy and congested traffic! With so many motorbikes on the road, it is impossible to visit places in the city by walking. Thus, most of the time during our visit, we decided to take a cab to travel to places. We spent 3 days 2 nights in Jakarta and visited nothing much besides malls. Not to mention that there are quite a number of big sized malls in the city. The ones that we visited were Cilandak Town Square Mall which was only 10mins walk from Jeremy's cousin house and the Grand Indonesia mall. On the last day of our trip, we left Jakarta for Bali.

This is specially for my boyfriend. I am sorry that you all have to read this. But if he reads this, I just want him to know that I love him very much and that he has been a great boy friend and best friend to me all along. I dated some guys before I met him, but with him I could tell that he is a real man, not a boy like most of the ones i used to date. He cares for me and I want to do my best to do the same for him. I just can't imagine life without him. Je'taime mon singe.

The Spices of Life

The world is round, so does our journey. we always find ourselves coming back to the same spot where we started it.

Some people are just too busy looking for the meaning of life yet forget to live it.

Most of us are liars. We all lie to ourselves. We often believe and admit the truth to ourselves. In reality, we often just selectively believe what we WANT to believe instead of what we SHOULD believe. For example, how many of us would honestly admit that we are doing our jobs because we really love it and not because we are forced to do so just to earn some money out of it? How many of us really date our partner because we love him or her and not because we are just too scared to be alone?

Just some thoughts for the day, enjoy them!

The irony of life

Life is never static. Everything about life changes in every second with our without our realisation or will. People change. Best friends drifted apart. Enemies become friends. Life is such an irony. But the greatest gift in life is the moment you met a special someone who ready to share his or her life with you.

Adaption in life

Life is all about adapting ourselves to suit our environment. Whether we believe it or not, we always adapt ourselves in order to maintain our survival within a society or an environment. Sometimes adaptation can be a very reflexive process whereby we do not even realise that we are going through the process at all. Sometimes it could also be painful. Like adapting ourselves to live a society that uphold values that contradict with the ones in our own society. But I think, the most important thing everyone needs to do is to compromise and try to respect the cultures of the society that they are living in. Its rather be safe than sorry.

Fat, Can You Fight It?

My sister just screamed at me because I called her fat and refused to eat the lunch that I bought her today. I just didnt see why she was so angry because she IS fat, at least for someone her height. But anyway, is it really important if u are skinny or fat? It doesnt make you less human, does it? Well, my boyfriend is a gym freak, I wonder if he is gonna walk out on me one day if I suddenly become fat (not that I want to be fat). lol. Well he may be, cos most of the world population do not want to have a fat partner. But how can we define fat? Does fat means obese? Or does fatness has a scale, that may goes from skinny-to chubby/plum-to fat-to obese?

I did some readings on the subject and I found out that fat is directly controlled by a hormone called Ghrelin that relates to hunger perception. The amount of Ghrelin hormone in a person body relates to the person feeling of hunger. The more Ghrelin present, the hungrier one feels. It also partially decreases the utilization of existing fatty tissue. Thus, in order to lose weight, ones has to control the release of Ghrelin hormone in their body to the minimum to avoid frequent hunger and to increase the use of existing fat tissue in their bodies . However, is it possible for a person to do so? The answer is YES.

Its true that the amount of hormone present in a person body is hereditical which means one person can have bigger amount of the hormone in his or her body compared to somebody else.Even though obesity is hereditary, it is not inevitable that one person with more obese genes will become obese. There are chances for the person to have an ideal body weight provided that she or he follows a strict healty lifestyle which includes taking healthy and well-balanced diet and exercising regularly. Human body needs a certain amount of energy which is termed as calories each day. Excess energy is stored as fat. Exercise functions to remove the excessive fat in one's body and contributes to weight loss. The more active you are, the more calories your body needs.By eating less than your body needs and exercising more, you force your body to use its existing fat stores for energy. So, if you are fat, its not the end of the world till you start a strict work-out plan and living on healthy diet.