Untitled, just some monologue

It is true when some people say we never really realise how much we love our beloved ones and how much they matter to us until the moments when we realise we might lose them. On the last night Jeremy was with me at my parents, he expressed his thoughts to me that he didnt think I love him enough. Just when he finished uttering that, I could feel my heart torn into pieces like there was a spear that just went through it. I was so scared.No, I was terrified! My body stopped functioning for that mere second and I could think of nothing other than what would my life be without him in it anymore.I tried hard not to cry. All the moments that we had spent together all this time came flashing back and it kills me to realise that if I ever lose him, Im not only going to lose my boyfriend, but worst of all my best friend. I never have really shared as much as I do with him with anybody else. I never feel this free to fully express myself without feeling stupid and scared of being judged. I am me as long as I am with him and I hope he will be himself as long as he is with me.